everyday update

Ok so u know im in very random mood - extreme happiness supported by being pissed off with some people ariund on regular basis- of course ur usually often when people arund represent characteristics u hate in urself or sth, but still all in all i didnt have it in bg at least not so much, but back here in Poland i got to easily distructed so maybe it is also high time to come back to blog, to spend time on reflection, to looking at things from the distance while writing it etc.
Im at home? So I'm in Poland 3 weeks now. What was this time about? mainly getting used to the culture and new role, with a lots of funny but also challenging moments. It was about meeting my friends- but only a few, or maybe the ones tha matters? hmmmm? no idea. It was about getting to know mysefl a lot - how the year can change u but also how some things are strong in you and is extremelly hard to change them. It was/ is about challenging opinion about people you thought you know and those u were sure u dont. It is about missing and about looking forward to. It is about being for one year in poland as mcvp ogxe

what happens around

yes shit happened
Havent written for ages :/
why?
many reasons for that- canot say lack of time, cause days are not shorter or i cannot say i have so much work or sth.
I just got really emotional, maybe pissed off, maybe too edmanding or maybe classical re-integration shock.
No idea sth is not as it should be?
And of course it is about me cause it cannot be about environment- this is the same for everyone.
So what's up with me?
any ideas?

privacy

As KRzychoo said- when he goes to sleep he covers himself to the very top of the head- just to have some privacy, i cover myself this way at least whole year...
why?
Do i feel my privacy is missing?
do i really feel confused about my comfrot zone and home? am i really homeless?
im back in my hometown, staying at my home, the only place i dont cove mysefl such way - cause i do it in garage, in BG, on conferences.
But here, here i feel safe, but i dont feel home...
sometimes i feel i need home and stable life, on the other hand im bored after few days... :/
life

Delayed update again...

So as for Russia - the last stop ST Pete time to remind myself about it cause it was unique.
Basically jst after the conference we went with Anula to Subway enjoyin internet- on the one hand this conference proved me i can live without it, on another that its needed;-)
Too many mails to many random things as well as those important- 2 hours for just catching up and I went to my place to sleep. I had nice Polish host wohoo so we had some conversations but all in all I was tired and just fall asleep- the next day was my last day in st Pete and I wanted to see as match as possible so did i;-)

XPRO

u know what happened before the conference, so before I write what happened after I shall write sth about the conference?!
I already wrote some texts about people there- but rather known ones, and how about the conference itsefl.
1st- I do learnt a lot and I dont write it cause its official blog :P I write it cause its truth- I refreshed some knowledge about organization, organizational and people behaviours as well as gain new ones.
I got a lot of inspiration and new ideas for my year. And I realized a lot maybe it can be cold maturity and I can be so bold? Or mabe just open mind?
Of course I was Polish so critizing the content and knowledge delivered- but isnt it a pattern or approach?
I met so many amazing people, AI was there and other smart :P people were there and its obvious u cannot deliver session to satisfy people in terms of content not at this level why?
Cause people differ a lot about theoretical knowledge
Cause people at this level dont need so much the theoretical knowledge but ability to be active learner- to seek and find info u need, people from who u can learn to analyze the info u get and use the appropriate one.
Cause ok Im current I was on MC, but I was not working on X, on the other hand I have MCe who were lcvp before - the gap is huge in terms of functional knowledge and perspective- so if u want to deliver knowledge u cannot do that but u can create learning environment for the people and thats all about.
But I also realized that the organizaiton of future of supposed to be current global leaders is passive and risk averse. :(
I dont want to become not myself and will not write thank u to all beautiful people or sth like that still I experienced a lot of inspirational moments and chats, learning points and conclusions Im happy that I was part of the conference and I really believe I can learn and achieve a lot in my future role. Still questions about slow track are in my head, the question about follow up and feeling im facing the wall stays but also there is no question about the role of XPRO and its usage it was amazing event and if u dont know how to use it or if ur back home deep in memories without follow up its ur fault man and u better think about ursefl rather than others...
Cause u had 170 people
ideas
offers
needs
knowledge
gcps
common challenges
and u still miss sth to be successful?
what ?
nobody can give u receipt how to do this so stop waiting and expecting go and ACT!

CEE English, my mummy or whatsoever:D

So first explanation of the title- if u ask the questions in the structure of sentence and make question by adding yes and not at the end
or if u use statements i dont go somewhere -me too this meand ur fluent user of CEE English :D - and just to show the impact of CEE language- after 1,5 year of living in CEE Gerry also speaks it - which was so much fun on XPRO

And mummy of course because we are so similar :D - so all in all XPRO was cool moment to meet Geri - small Indian with different perspective of the world that kick u out of the comfort zone but also be supportive and helpful when needed, my preddecessor who loves BG and cares a lot about it. Boss of virtual team and CEE challenger:D cannot wait to host her in PL :D and of course go to India but would rather see her staying in Europe just all going for bollywood wedding ;-)
And one more thing - together with Ira- see below they create strategic triangle - imagine that u know two girls - that live and work together and both can be described as ur friends :D believe me can write nove afterwards about female relations and perceptions, top secrets and well known secrets u never know what is known to the third one what not and constantly have fun in typical girlish way of complaining when one pisses u off there is always common point with another :]although there are some strict roles and in terms of having unexpected adventures Gerry is the master :D

XPRO official dinner

it is the most shitty picture from the night suggesting i really need hairdresser but...simply this person has to be in xpro stories --> I will not write here why due to how many reasons and bla bla u can check older post to verify why is unique and special but simply this person made the conference because of being herself, becasue of enjoying, because of being happy in her way and finally not bother so much about the rest this is the person that pissed me off and i thought that i rather hate her :P just to subconsciously solve it another day? This is the person to whom i can be really honest latelly and seriously can say that i luv her strange isnt it? english word love is much less meaningful still I realized that in the current state its only her cause saying it to the rest of people around {although there are 6 people coming to my head) would bring to many questions. Ok there is one more so maybe Russia has some influence of people;-) cause the 2nd is Just :D
and just to give u maybe this feeling or maybe some fun: I know from whom I shall learn how to wear sunscreen, funny isnt it the bitch of the world;-)


Without doubts person born to be TM :-) able to use strategic approach and shape relations with people, positive and energetic :D

Again with Krzychoo and Araz vel Sara :D AI VP X person who helped me a lot without even doing much ;-) its just sometimes u learn by observing or by listening - yeah sometimes it happen so it happened to me - I felt comfrotable with my freakness aboout X and about excel and tables and graphs :D

Krzychoo - discovery of ITC my new teammate and Mo- Director for CEE still a person to discover;-) but for sure the right person - u think sport shoes doesnt fit they fit cause this term is about speed! about achieving a lot and accelerating so everytime u have to be ready to run :D
Ladies and gentelmen this person will also chair our planning conference :D

Masha the most important bastardino - the one picked me up from the aiport, got the place to sleep take care of the bag- together with Alina the made my stay in Moscow very pleasant and unbeliveble thx girls !

Last but not least- my bastardinos- Facis of ACT, amazing individuals, all different but having the same passion development!!! THX for ACT once again u made it happen!

XPRO

With BG delegation somehow after being the member of the country it was hard to be member of another, so with Geri of course we had to take the pic, on the other hand I didnt attend any roll call or meeting of AIESEC in Bulgaria I was mainly focusing on X not TMs- still X is also my job in BG but- somehow I have hte feeling that coming back home is easier than going abroad. Maybe because of language - u always understand ur team, maybe becuase u really know the culture and feel like? Dunno.
At another reflection Global Village. Dunno why but I didnt even visit all the stands- maybe becuase it was in the middle of the conference I already knew the people and how many times u can try the same food :D? and taking into consideration I m supposed to fly back home I shouldnt collect the gadgets?
Or maybe cause im generally not so sensitive too beauty? - I admire Ira for this ability to be happy and enjoy maybe its really my destroying energy or im too sceptic? or too demanding - or maybe its all and being polis in addition?! Sometimes I wish I were able to enjoy other cultures, roll call dances as she s but on the other hand if I really want most probably I would - this is just Ira's way and Cebula's way?! I prefered to speak with the people, get some business done;-) walk with my odl friends that i dont know when i will meet etc. So the best part all in all was about coming back - with Geri and Anula decided to try to come back earlier to sleep - didnt manage cause people were back just 30 minutes after us but we spent some Rubles and had fun.
The peak moments:
- the picture of three travelers :D
Sitting in the bus- Geri, me and Anula of course, together with Geri, we treated Anula as our guide - knowing where and how to go - she is in MC of Russia.., but surprise surprise. Anula asking us- girls do u know the name of our hotel:D? I realized it will be fun :D. Anula walking around asking people how to get there - guy in the bookstall thinking she wanted to buy a book and me with Geri laughing and thinking that we will have to contacts Ira- this day was not the day to contact her due to me being pissed off with her;-).
Finally getting the way to Elektryczka Geri believing we will end up in Moscow, asking up about spare names- yeah this is the influence of CEE the Indian native people start forgetting words and using CEE structures
Ventialtion unknown, counting stops in Elektyrczka, catching some Marshrutka to get to the venue - with lack of moeny of Anula and me - eh i love this randomness.

Bulgaria - September...

Picture with Ivan - although it shall be called picture of Polish delegation for me is more picture with Ivan - comparing with the one up- some people stay, some leave, some things change, some stay - or one director two countries;-) totally different way of thinking but the same person, how big can be the change, evolution of revolution? maturity? learnings, fast and furious on the way to growth :)
and also another meeting and another interesting dicussions and inspiration :D

lets write about Russia finally till the end :P

Goodbye to Moscow- amazing place in which from the very beginning on the one hand I felt extremelly comfrotable, understanding cirilic, knowing where and how to go, loving the subway with network coverage, the feeling of being watched all the time and controlle but in the same time so anonymous cause everything is huge there that one human being is simply small and not important. Nice and warm people somehow hospitable and helpful although of course also normal - being in rush being mad and... as about the train trip--> it was supposed to be safe, the first impression was interesting - no compartments but so what- the place to put ur baggage much safer on the other hand- but it turned out to be extremelly normal life there- with helpful people and nice thingy - ppl loving tea and drinking normal tea but on the other hand ppl who can just rob u - normal life yes? this time fortunatelly wasnt me so Moscow i will come back there agan for sure, I started to work on my Russian and this is destination to add yo my life :D

Kremlin - one of the places when u can really feel why society there is able to wait in the queue to the bus. Cause when u try to cross street in inappropriate place some guard will for sure stop u from doing that - u have only ur area to walk around and thats all - Ordnung muss sein :D

Again self made picture- but from really impressive place:
1st of all charming and really beautiful churches with museums and gardens
2nd of all amazing place due to super facilities such as computers in the rooms - showing the stories of the paintings etc and extremelly nice ladies working there- lovely place!!!

what is in

updating the blog- much too long
why?
cause too many ppl around closed their blog?
no its not the reason crowd is not cool for it - never
so why?
maybe cause i feel its getting to personal?
too complicated?
maybe too many things may be offensive to somebody?
or maybe too many things can be to controversial?
to hard for people?
where is the borader between the joke and the truth?
why people sometimes seem to know better ?
why sometimes they know ur joking when ur serious?
why why why?!?!?!?!?
when did i become so smart- smart to be independent and self-sufficient? in the same time when i became such idiot...

freak

Before putting on blog the rest of my Russian adventure short comment - Im freak :D It is not result of any deeper reflection more agreeing with myself and shaping self awareness, thinking of the things I did and do in life, relations with peole, passion for the things i do and love, freakness about environment, information management and some other aspects that drive others crazy, approach to live and beaviours --> im freak but... what doest it mean, what is normal and is being freak good or bad? or maybe neutral cause thats the way we are?!

belief? passion? freak?

Dunno what is the reason but Im getting pissed off with the war of my aiesec.net and facebook.
Im pissed off with role modelling of mc members and mcps creating groups there, spamming X, promoting conferences?!
You dont like myaiesec.net close it and stop spending money on that? Or maybe u dont like it cause u need to create sth in it life is not so easy anymore and u need to be active... future global leader?!
so i shall add one more freakness of mine sustainability and information management or simply facebook?!
Where is boarder line?!

MoS

yeye ur from @ u think u know the meaning of the post?! not really.
Some super smart ass also called theory state that the win-win solutions are the best in life... yes in long perspective for sure and this seems to be so obvious. But latelly I have the feeling that my Mos is geting invoice- cause if get it my spending may be refunded from evs... so i struggle and fight and have some adventures some of the recent ones;
Im hungry, the lunch break is short no time to go to the checked place, will exlopre new one, misunderstanding - instead of salad pizza, waiting longer, being late in the office, had to eat meet:/
Today I was supposed to pick up invoice from the place we ate before my going to xpro...and there was no invoice.. I lost - i spent money they lost, cause i will not come there again...and this is life especially in those all post communistic countries, the value of service the approach to it... no comments:(

...

God save me from my brian and thoughts the rest of the wrld will be easy to manage...